Family Reflections for the Holidays
Aliens, messages from the great beyond, and generational collaborations, let's go!
Hi Friends -
The holiday season is synonymous with family. Here’s to wishing you and yours a great one! Today, I’m sharing three familial reflections.
Synchronicities
Ever had a strange coincidence occur? Perhaps it's the universe sharing a message. I try to tune in to these synchronicities. My buddy, Troy, calls these moments “being in the wormhole.”
Over Thanksgiving, we entered the Flotilla, a boat parade. Our theme of Alien Invasion of Palm Island involved a spaceship, palm tree, parking meter and alien costumes all made out of Christmas lights on our 17’ Boston Whaler. Cousin Nick and I attended the captain’s meeting wearing Hawaiian shirts that belonged to my Dad and Uncle Ted. After working for several days, we boarded the boat excited to start a new family fun-loving tradition.
We lost the top of the alien spaceship and endured a few snafus we chalked up to Ted’s spirit messing with us. The show went on, and we paraded the cold waters in front of thousands of waving spectators.
And guess what? We won! The Crew Spirit and Best Costumes prize and $1500!
The next day we texted Ted’s kids about our win and our tribute to their dad. Cousin Sandi noticed that our boat number was 21. Coincidentally, her favorite jersey number. Her father, Ted, died on 2.1.21. Nick texted back. He was seated on his flight home in row… 21.
Message received. Thanks for being with us, Dad and Uncle Ted. Lucky #21.
Healing Energy
A thread running through my book, Analog, is my father's life and legacy. I live my life as an analog to his. Whether walking in his footsteps or standing on his shoulders, incorporating his wisdom, doing things today that I imagine he would have loved but never got to do because his life was cut short by cancer.
In exploring my relationship to my father, through the lens of being a father to Harper, I’m opening up to familial and ancestral relationships that shape us, often at a very young age. Life is a flow, and things that pass from generation to generation are worthy of examination.
This Friday, I’m attending the opening of a new gallery exhibit of contemporary art by my friend, Robert X. Fogarty.
The show takes place at the Mary Beth, a hotel named after Robert’s mom, who left earth by suicide after a short battle with cancer in 2002 when he was 18. She left behind more than 1,500 original works. Among her work, Robert will present his intergenerational collaboration with her -- Son of a Ghost. He has written letters to her on top of her work in what feels like a reconciliation and a celebration at the same time. Mary Beth said that it's not the output or the object that matters, that art is meant to forge new connections between people.
Love, Mom
Speaking of connections between people, I’ve been working on raising the vibration of some of my important relationships. I spend a lot of time examining my relationship to my father and his legacy. My mother is very much alive, well, and cherished. Yet, like an old amp, sometimes our relationship winds up clipping. Not abnormal, I know.
We’re both in a season of life where we want to be closer to each other. It takes work, occasional conflict, and healing to grow a relationship. Stasis can settle in, and time worn grooves of interaction don’t change unless we do.
Mom, I love you. Our time is precious on this earth. Let us stand shoulder to shoulder and face our wounds that yearn for healing. We’re in this together now and forever.
If you’re reading this and have a relationship that feels like it could use some nurturing, let’s invest together in that growth. My first two reflections featured people no longer with us, maybe a phone call or hug to someone who is with you this holiday season would feel good. I bring myself back to the question “would I rather be right, or successful?” A little empathy, letting go of the kept score, and a lot of love can go a long way.
To mom, and all of you reading, I send you best wishes this holiday season to you and your families. May you be blessed with peace and joy!
Stay close.
✌️❤️& 🎄
Love, Chris
PS: Robert X. Fogarty’s opening is this Friday, Dec 8th. 7-11pm at The Mary Beth. 310 S. Rampart St. in New Orleans. Hope to see you there!